Darkest Before the Sun Rises
by hiddlestons
Summary: They say it's darkest before the dawn; that it's darkest right before the storm breaks, when hope is finally found. Freeverse.


**A/N: This is written for Masquerade Doll's My Other Half Challenge. Dedicated to Bee (call-me-bee). Beta-ed by Rose (RoseScor90).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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"_Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises.__  
__We're pretty sure they're all wrong."__  
_-Mountain Goats, 'Our Children'

..

It was _so_ long ago when you first met him, but you remember _oh so _clearly.  
The First Wizarding War was gone, but the Second one hadn't begun.  
And when you first met him,  
he was the 'famed' captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team,  
and you were just a **meek** eleven year old.  
You were **new**.  
You were **lonely**.  
You were **afraid**.

And you still remember the _f i r s t_ time that you had looked at him ,  
really looked at him.  
He was so tall (you remember that of course)  
and you had to look up to see him.  
And when you did, you felt your breath c a t c h in your throat.  
But you shook yourself; you shook yourself hard,  
and **pushed** that thought out of your head.

(you weren't even a teenager yet-why were you thinking these thoughts?)  
So you _chided _yourself, you _scolded_ yourself, and tried to _forget_.  
But there really was no need to.  
After all, who would want to notice you?  
A **timid**,  
**scared,**  
**mousy**,  
first year?

But then, a week after school had started, you met Parvati.  
She was funny and gossip-y, not really like you at all.  
But you shrugged; you carried on.  
There really wasn't anyone else to be with,  
except for that Hermione girl and her books.  
(The other first year Gryffindors didn't really seem to like you)  
But you weren't like Hermione, at least, you didn't t h i n k that you were like her.  
So you smiled at Parvati, and headed off to class together.

Soon enough, you forgot about him (_sort of, not really_),  
though he still (_sort of, kind of_)  
**remained** in your head,  
**remained** in your thoughts,  
**remained** in your dreams.

Of course, you told Parvati about him, and she giggled.  
So you giggled along with her.

You remember the f i r s t time that you talked with him, but it wasn't really a conversation.  
You had walked with Parvati, arm in arm,  
talking about Seamus Finnegan and some other Gryffindor boys.  
(Parvati always seemed to start off conversations about boys)  
and you saw him.  
**Him.**

You blushed and shielded your eyes after stammering out a, "You did great."  
He nodded and smiled back at you.  
But you knew there was no use being embarrassed;  
he wouldn't look at you like that.  
He was looking at that Katie Bell girl,  
the **chaser**,  
the **pretty one**.  
So you walked quickly away.

Parvati always used to tell you if you wanted something, to "go get him".  
But you questioned yourself, "Did you really want him?"  
_You didn't know._

Time passed by, and soon enough, it was your third year.  
It was strange how close you and Parvati had become.

People would eye you as  
you turned around the corner with her, squealing about things.  
It wasn't their problem, was it?

By the next time you actually had a long, real talk with him,  
it was actually Parvati who pushed you into doing it.  
So you stuttered a little bit, and watched  
as he looked on, wondering if you were talking to him  
_or that lonely Hufflepuff behind his back._

But he wouldn't know about that **deep** twanging that you felt in your heart  
every time you could have a chance,  
but was too shy and timid to step up.  
So you just said hello, and greeted him like a friend,  
(rather than a secret admirer).

You took a **deep** breath that day  
and told yourself firmly.  
It was his last year, his seventh, and you were only a third year.  
It was your last chance, ever.

But you lost that chance to Parvati one **_fateful_** morning,  
and you looked on as she strutted over to him,  
flipping her hair over her shoulders  
as she sat down next to him.

He looked at her strangely for a moment, before glancing back to Harry  
and talking about the game strategies.  
_You looked on_.

She beckoned you towards her, and you walked slowly next to her, and sat down on the bench.  
A n d you could only look on as you heard her strike up a conversation with him.  
A n d so, you fiddled with the end of you curly braid, heart _twanging_ even more  
As you watched yourself **lose** your chance  
And he didn't even know a thing.

So you settled _back_ and looked to your right,  
leaning your head against your elbow.  
And you saw that Weasley boy, the one in your year.  
**And you smiled sadly.**

And you still remember that day when your father gave you tickets to that Puddlemere United game.  
You had forgotten that Oliver played on that team, and you readily agreed,  
hoping that something (anything) had changed.  
So you agreed to go, and you set out.

But it was **terrible**, _oh so_ **terrible** when you saw it.  
You saw Parvati and Oliver, entwined around each other,  
and you felt a **deep** churning in your stomach as you saw  
her hand reach around his shoulders;  
fingers entangling in his hair.  
That hair that you had always admired.  
That hair that you had always dreamed of touching.  
That hair that now belonged to Parvati.

And you saw h o t, messy tears fall from your eyes.  
And so, you turned around and fled.  
Fled into the **dark** courtyard, leaving that image behind.  
That image that was stamped into you memory,  
branded behind your eyes.

You thought it would always be you and him from the start.  
_Oliver and Lavender._  
_Lavender and Oliver_.  
It sounded so…right.  
It sounded so…perfect.  
But things weren't perfect in your world,  
Oh dear, no they weren't.

You weren't perfect, far from it.  
But wasn't she perfect?

You were supposed to be the _best of friends_, who would go through thick and thin.  
You were supposed to be able to do anything for each other.  
But things hadn't ended up that way, oh far from it.

They say it's **darkest** before the dawn,  
that it's **darkest** right before the storm breaks, when hope is finally found.  
(The dark came, and it hurt)  
Oh, it hurt so much.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review, and tell me what you thought. :)**


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